Life and Marriage

Don’t Just Get Married

To some, there is no difference. To me, there should always be. When you’re getting married, it can become very superficial, focusing on the materialistic construction of what your wedding day looks like in order to appease those around you. Many lose themselves in this process and fail to regain their relational strength afterwards because they forget that they’re supposed to be married, not getting married.

Being married is about you two, that’s it. The way you communicate, the way you interact, the way you build your life and love together – these are the key elements to being married. When planning our wedding, I was sure that every fight and stressful decision would suddenly become completely worthwhile to make our relationship look better to everyone else at our wedding. It’s not that we had a bad relationship in the first place, but we focused so hard in the process of getting married and crossing the threshold, that we completely forgot who we are and who we will be when we are married.

Walking toward my husband and our many guests on my wedding day, I could only think one thing: nothing is perfect to the vision I’ve been working on for two years, but my husband is standing right there and that’s all I need right now. He loves me and I love him – As The Beatles say, “love is all you need.” That’s what being married is like – nothing will ever be perfect, but it’s the way you support, love and cherish each other through the flow of daily life with comfort and console that makes marriage what it is. Your end goal in being engaged should not just get married, but be married and prepare to live your life with your best friend. Watching our friends and family dance the night away at our reception made every fight, disagreement and stressful time not worth the happiness we could have had throughout the process together because let’s be real, they could have cared less about the decor.

Having just spent two years in the most stressful situation ever planning a wedding, the two months we have been married are beyond what we could have ever expected in the best way possible. In it, we’ve had a lot of reflection and have learned that our time together is about quality over quantity and action. Because we are fresh off the wedding life, I put together some of the best tips to remove the wedding stress:

  1. Plan together and know that every disagreement about linen color, flower choice, or whatever is completely not worth it. You want to reflect on wedding planning as a positive, bonding experience.
  2. Don’t overbook your wedding day – plan for at least a few breaks together alone to enjoy the party and the special moments. Those are the ones you will cherish forever.
  3. Hire a really good photographer and videographer. The two vendors you don’t want to cheap out on are those. Those are the only things you’ll have to bring you right back to the big day after it’s said and done.
  4. Don’t spend the reception running around saying hi to everyone. It’s nice to see the few key people you need, but you know your time is precious and it’s YOUR day. Give a speech instead and thank those who traveled from so far to be with you.
  5. Nothing will ever be perfect, but handle the flaws with grace and your guests won’t even notice. Don’t ruin your day because one thing is out of place. Hire a day-of coordinator to handle it all.

Enjoy a recap of our favorite moments and photos from the big day!

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